my heart still belongs to ballet
Written at 10:40 a.m. on 2004-10-05
Ok,today is the day,I have put this off for far to long because of my own selfishness.My daughter has been wanting to take dance lessons for some time now.
When I was a little girl all I wanted to be was a ballet dancer,and that I was. My mom signed me up when I was 6,and I went from there. I was the one thing I found that I was good at,and enjoyed. I recived my toe shoes only after a year. (witch is pretty good)as years passed I just got better,and loved it even more. The stage is where I loved to be.But then all that came crashing down,after all the hard work I had put into it,and giving my all. It was a normal day at the dance studio. I laced up my toe shoes,and hit the bar for our streaches,my right leg went up and I went down,my knee cap poped,my Mom ran over to me as I sat on the ground in tears,as she was trying to figure out what happend,she heard the sound of something popping,but did not know what it was,until she saw me holding my knee.
Well needless to say I have never put on another pair of ballet shoes or steped in a dance stuido again. And to make things even worse I was only two weeks away from getting my high heel tap shoes:(
I still love ballet,and always will. My heart tell me to try again,but my knees say something else. I have a hard time watching movies like save the last dance,dance company,and so on. It just takes me back in time,and knowing what I could have been. It still bothers me so much I don't even talk about it with my friends,or some family members.My daughter has seen pictures,and askes questions, but she has not yet asked me why I don't dance any longer.
Well now let me get to the point, my daughter wants to dance,but I can't get my self throught the door of the dance studios. I know I will cry the whole time I am there. I feel as though I am holding her back from something that she wants to do,because of the way I feel.
GOD HOW SELFISH IS THIS,I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM DOING THIS! JUST GET OVER IT !!!!!
