She has been gone 3 years today
Written at 8:36 a.m. on 2004-10-20
THIS IS SO FAR THE BEST THAT I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING TODAY MARKS THE 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOM DEATH. BUT I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT HER A LITLE,IT HELPS!
Alot of people called yesterday to see how I was doing. Well I did have one crying spell but pulled myself together and got back to work.
I just want to talk about something that happened to me yesterday. I was out side with pixe-grl and she said look over there,it's a cardinal. I have to say my heart skipped a beat. I wrote an entry a wile back about my Dad and I in the back yard at his house and we were talking about my Mom and out of no where a bright red cardinal flew over our heads. Some may think yea no big deal,but my Mom had a love for these birds and that is what make it so special when I see one. I have not seen one since I was at my Dads and to see one yesterday of all days was just over welming.
So me being the sap that I'am I called my Dad and let him know.
Well me and Dad have a diffrent outlook on this.After yesterday I was convinced that MY MOM was a bird now!!! And DAD says well what color was it? I said "red" well shannon that can't be her because she is a women and they were males,I think god is trying to tell you something.And we left it at that. Gotta love that guy!
I will be honest the first year after she was gone was the hardest,and the second year was not any easier,but this year is a little diffrent. I have never felt like I was with out her,not one day. I know she is with me,I just can't see her,or hear her, and I talk to her everyday but one thing I'am sure of is that I do feel her standing with me.
Lastnight wile my Dad and I were on the phone we shared some storys about my Mom. One in wich that stood out the most to me was the the glass of water. My mom spent most of her time in the kitchen so she wanted to make it a little more fun. The drive way was next to the kitchen window and if you wanted to get to the back yard you had to walk by the window,and just let me tell you she did this for years and did not care what the weather was like, she would wait at the kitchen window with a glass of water in her hand and wait for people to walk by and she would get them everytime. The werd part is,is that people would keep walking by the window as if she was not going to do it again. My Brother and I were a little smarter then the rest of the folks,we would walk in the middle of the driveway and then over to the fence door,she couldn't get the water that far with the screen in the way!!! LOL
OK here is one other story,and if my Dad ever finds out that I did this he would be very upset with me (i think)
I think I was around 11 or 12 AND I my Mom was standing on a chair doing something to the light bulb,my Dad was in the shower and my she went into the bathroom and came back out. When he was done in the shower she asked him to change the light in the hallway it was blown out,as he was changing the light he stopped in surprise and is eyes got real big " Marlene something is wrong real wrong" she said what do you mean? my ass feels like it's leaking,keep in mind he is still standing on the chair."And my underarms are sweating something is not right here"!! My Mom finally lost it and started to laugh so hard she started to cry,My Dad knew that my Mom had done something but was not sure what it was. years later I found out what she had done to him that day. wile he was in the shower she put mentolated shaving cream in his underwear and in the armpits of his tee-shirt!
And to this day I can't help but to laugh when I think about it, my Dad still thinks if was not very nice of her to do that but laughs about it anyway! (i'am laughing so hard right
now)
ok that is enough of the funny storys. I'am glad that I could share some of these memorys with you,she is so special to me I just wish she was still here.
Time passes by so quickly,
But I guess I thought you'd be here forever.
I never even had the chance,
To say goodbye.
There's so many things to tell you,
Left unsaid until now.Can you hear me when I talk to you?Do the words I say ever make it throughCan you hear me when I talk to you?'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew. Ev'ry night, I have the same dream.The one where you get to hold me.We laugh an' talk until the morning,An' then you vanish, yeah.It always leaves me feeling helpless,When I wake up an' you're not there.Can you hear me when I talk to you?Do you know how much I'd love to be with you?Can you hear me when I talk to you?'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew.Living in this world without you,I constantly search through my mem'ries.Hoping that I find some treasures,That I passed over, yeah.All that I took for granted,Means so much now, an' I won't let it go.Can you hear me when I talk to you?'Cause I never said some things that I meant to.Can you hear me when I talk to you?'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew.You know, I never said some things that I meant to.
Can you hear me when I talk to you?
'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew.
I miss you MOMMY.
A red rose for you today Ilove you and miss you.
